#121: Digital Tea Leaves

Astrology is not a science. But there’s plenty of people who believe in it, and the related mystic arts. Even people who you might not suspect of being superstitious can be found at a soothsayer, getting their cards read, having their hands’ life lines examined, and getting their horoscopes done.

And now that everyone has a smartphone in their hands at all times, that’s where astrologers are going. Several apps are vying for market share. And their war chests are overflowing with money, thanks to generous investments from venture capital firms, convinced they’ve found their next big thing.

Astrology feeds right into human psychology. We love ourselves, and we love learning about ourselves. And astrologers are good at reading our patterns, then telling us about them with an air of mysticism. You get to feel good, and the astrologer gets a reputation for being a psychic. Astrology provides assuredness in a time of uncertainty — which explains its new-found resurgence.

Never mind that none of it is in any way scientific. Horoscopes, for example, are created based on ancient Babylonian charts – the same Babylonians that believed the Sun rotated around the Earth1. So even if modern astrologers say they use NASA data for their calculations, they’re working off earth-centered charts. If you start out with nonsense, it doesn’t matter what data you’re using, you’ll still end up with nonsense.

Even corporate life has been invaded by astrology’s younger sibling. If you work at a large enough company, you’ve probably had some sort of personality test done. Unlike horoscopes, these tests don’t work off of ancient charts, but instead employ scientific-looking questionnaires and tests to determine your personality. They, too, don’t hold up to scientific standards. Myers-Briggs, the most well-known of the personality tests, claims to be based on psychologist Dr. Carl Jung work — who himself has noted the limitations of such categorizations: “There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum.”

In the end, though, the venture capitalists will get their money back and then some. After all, you can sell anything if you sprinkle magic on top. Just ask this astrologer, explaining how it really works, and why she had to stop.

Put Your Name On It

Usually, having something named after you is a good thing. It means you’ve made some sort of impression on the world, and now get to enjoy a bit of fame. Sometimes, though, the naming means you’re infamous. Just ask the eponymous Mr. Ponzi.

Cultural Exhaustion

‘Star Wars’ is undoubtedly a cultural phenomenon. Walt Disney knew this when they acquired Lucasfilm – and thus the rights to Star Wars2 – for $4.05 billion. Disney knew they could easily recoup their investment, and got to work pumping out new Star Wars content. By doing so, they seem to have finished the work that George Lucas started when he released the prequel trilogy — finally making us sick of getting too much Star Wars: We Can’t See ‘Star Wars’ Anymore.

Cancer Inoculation

I wrote about using viruses to fight bacteria in issue #104. Researchers have also attempted to use viruses against tumors. After some initially promising results, further research fizzled after encountering complications, including our own immune system fighting the viruses. But that got them another idea: Use our body’s immune system to fight the tumors: Injecting the flu vaccine into a tumor gets the immune system to attack it.

Sufficiently Advanced Magic

We all use GPS a lot these days. We are so reliant on it that if it disappeared from our phones tomorrow, nobody would probably find their way to work — or even their coffee shop. But GPS can do more than just tell you where you are. Here are five things you didn’t know GPS could do.

Look, I don’t know either

On the internet, there are rules. One of them is Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn of it. But there seems to be a real-world equivalent to it: If it exists, there is a magazine for it: Facility - a magazine about bathrooms.

📖 Weekly Longread 📚

“One man wanted to change the raisin industry for the better. He got more than he bargained for.” The Raisin Situation

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Going Fishing, an amazingly fluid stop motion animated film

  1. To be fair to the ancient Babylonians, at the time, they were not exactly alone with this belief. 

  2. Also Indiana Jones, which in any other case would be a major franchise, but pales against the behemoth that is Star Wars.